ISEEIT:

ISEEIT: by Jerry Wells

I see children being raised by authority figures that do not respect their authority figures for various reasons.

This is a problem. Children are sinners by nature. They want to go their own way even when it is the wrong way. They are also unwise. They do not understand the dangers in this world. They will not avoid those dangers if they do not respect their authority figures. They will go their own way and they will suffer for it.

Since children do not fear things that are dangerous they must learn to fear their authority figure when their authority figure gives them direction. I realized this by reading Proverbs in the bible before my first of eight children was born and I was blessed to be married to a woman who saw life the same way. To love my children was to make them fear me so that they would respect my authority. That training started when they became mobile. For my children to fear me, they had to suffer pain. So, I spanked them. I always used some form of rod on their hand when they were small and on their bottom as they got older. When they reached toward something that would hurt them, I would tell them no. If they did not comply the first time I said no, I would spank them. With a strong-willed child, this could go on for a while.

This is how we child proofed our home when our children became mobile. We did not rely on covering every electrical outlet or putting safety locks on every cabinet. I knew that my family would be in many places that would be a lot more dangerous than our home. If they feared me and respected my authority, they would be safe in those environments and that includes the mountains of Colorado where we tent camped every summer in the San Juan Wilderness.

As a result, because all my eight children feared me and respected my authority, they survived their childhood and even their teen age years. We had a few close calls because I was not and I am not a perfect parent, but God was always watching when I was not and He chose to spare us from those loses. I know for certain that our lives would have been much more difficult if my children did not fear me because I have so many examples of times when they were spared from serious injury or even death because they feared me and obeyed my voice.

All my children feared me until they didn’t. That fear began to wain as they became more independent of me financially and became more independent thinkers. The financial independence started with my boys when they turned 15 or 16 and they had to go to work to purchase certain things that they wanted. It was never my goal for them to always fear me but to fear me in some measure until they became totally independent of me.

I wanted each of them to replace their fear of me with the fear of God. I diligently taught them the gospel of grace of Jesus Christ but made it clear that the gospel was not a license to sin. I taught them that they should respect God’s commands and seek to honor Him and our family. I also taught them to fear God. I taught them that God loves His children and because He loves us He gives us warnings about the consequences of sin. And I taught them that He will discipline us by allowing us to suffer those consequences. I also taught them that life is hard and that they should not make life harder by living in sin. I prayed every day that they would fear God sooner rather than later.

There are a few things I wish I would have done differently in raising my children and I have talked with all my adult children about those things but teaching them when they were little children to fear me and respect my authority is certainly not one of them. Seeking to have a biblical worldview in parenting is one of the best choices that I have made for my life. I do not believe I would have the relationship I enjoy with my children right now without seeking to be a parent with a biblical worldview. I hope that you will give my words some serious consideration.

(If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email me at jerrywellsfam@gmail.com

I do not respond to comments with comments about my ISEEIT posts online because I do not believe it is wise or profitable for me to do so but I would love to be able to communicate with you privately.)